For someone that talks too much and uses more words than she probably needs, I’ve gotten really quiet in the past months. I haven’t felt the urge to talk to many people, and when I do finally talk to people I feel almost a little skiddish. Though it passes quickly and I’m normal again it’s kinda weird I go days where unless I get angry I don’t speak at all.

So today I spent like three hours trying to get something to work on my computer again. I always remember the quote from Big Fish where he says the more work something takes the more it’s worth it. That’s a terrible paraphrase but I can’t find the whole quote anywhere. And in the end I got what I wanted working, but it didn’t quite work out if that makes sense. So it was all in vein and I don’t think that quote is always applicable.

Anyway, after abandoning like three different desktops I’ve finally landed on one I like a freaking lot. I love it. I’ve been using it for a while, and think I could use it for a long time. It’s based off of someone else’s mockup, but that person won’t be mentioned until submission to keep the mystery. :) Anyway it’s been many months since I’ve subbed a desktop, and this one I’m actually gonna finish and sub. Then probably “quit” customizing for a while. I may come back, but I’ve pretty much lost all motivation and inspiration to customize, except to finish this last desktop.

I posted this on a forum last month (I think) and forgot I was gonna blog it too. Here they are in a very particular order.

1. Tegan and Sara – The Con
2. Husky Rescue – Ghost Is Not Real

That is all.

Heh. No the rest I very much like too. Actually choosing between Missy Higgins and Husky Rescue was really difficult, they ought to be a tie for second. Except her first album is like a million times better, if that one had been made this year it could’ve very well been second.

3. Missy Higgins – On A Clear Night
4. Buildings Breeding – Buildings Breeding
5. Explosions In The Sky – All Of The Sudden I Miss Everyone
6. Justice – †
7. Emilie Autumn – Laced/Unlaced
8. Iron & Wine – The Shepherd’s Dog
9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Is Is
10. CocoRosie – The Adventures of Ghosthorse And Stillborn

I know I haven’t posted in a while, and quite frankly I may give up on blogging entirely, but this bugged me enough to want to ‘speak out’ on it. For a while now I’ve argued with a certain friend on using gay as an insult and she has stopped as a result of me. But other friends still do, and it’s used around the world as I now see.

I don’t know when it started, but for me it was like being hit in the head with a two-by-four. Because my first contact with it was someone saying “you’re gay” to me or “that’s gay” when I did something, one of the two. And I remember not feeling insulted but staring confusedly at them. Wondering how I just acted in a homosexual way.

I personally don’t think it’s okay to use it as insult, and so far don’t know how the LBGTQA (etc. etc.) community as a whole feels about it. I may even be ranting about it a little late in the game, but I’m pissed off nonetheless. My friends are religious people so the fact that they’re using the word at all baffled me. I don’t know how they can justify it as okay.

But it didn’t truly hit me how prevalent the usage was until I discussed it with a gay person. Then decided to googled it—then was where it hit me of course it resulting in finding millions of hits about the topic. And I’m just a little more than tired of people’s hatred for “different” things/people/etc.

First was my outrage that there are still racist people out there, next is this. Why can’t we all just get along? We’re all people, all the same on the inside. I make it a point to be politically correct as much as possible, and make it point not to offend anyone. Or dislike anyone based on something as silly as race/creed/sexual orientation/religion/whatever else you can think of.

I don’t know if it’s because of the area I’m living in (white bread country apparently) or the people I know. But either way I’m not happy and tired of it. I also am just plain tired so this is a less than eloquent post I know. But after seemingly finding a solution—one I’m going to personally use to combat this. I am now going to link it to all of you (hopefully) good people.

How to combat the usage of gay as an insult.
Also: Why it’s unintelligent and offensive to use the term as an insult.

Listening to: Husky Rescue – The Blueberry Tree Part III

I would be insane by now if I hadn’t gotten back into my winter pattern. I swear my eyes rolled back in my head at the first sip of my coffee. Granted I’ve been up since 9am, and it’s almost 1pm now. I should’ve started the morning this way, I must start setting my coffeemaker to brew itself in the morning. Then they wouldn’t suck so bad.

The perfect winter morning: sitting back comfy and warm in your covers, listening to fantastic music. Sipping on your coffee, and reading a good book. Unfortunately the book(s) I want are not in possession at this current moment. I am trying to bribe my stepdad to go to the library for me to pick up the one I put on hold.

Anyway. I feel like death, I walked so much I am really sore. Again. I did this last week, but this week I hurt less. But, I’m going to attempt to customize today, I have a slight idea of something that might not suck. I don’t know. A whole desktop feels quite impossible at the moment.

Update:

I read Ghost World tonight, it had a lot more go on in the book I think, quite a bit different. I like different elements from both the movie and the book. Both amongst my favorites. But I do believe I like the book more than the movie as a whole. It’s just got a different overall feel that the film interpretation lacked.

I’ve got like three weeks with it from the library I could either return it fast and give others opportunity to read it. Since I had it sent there, OR selfishly keep it and read it a couple more times before I return it. Heh. Haven’t decided yet. :P

And it occurred to me the song I listed above must be in my top faves list, recently both times I listened to it through in the morning I was instantly put in a good mood. I think it’s more to do with my perfect morning than the whole layout I described. I dunno, but today has been post-rock/instrumental music day either way. They were basically the only vocal band I listened to all day.